Push vs. Pause; How to Know When to Grit or Quit.
Rest painting by Addie Hirschten
Anyone who knows me personally knows I am the epitome of the “Just Do It” mantra. I have used this strong warrior mode to help me get through my life. I’m grateful for this grit part of myself. I needed it to help me survive and escape tough situations. I also needed it to help give me the courage to dive deep into my healing journey. This part of myself has also served me to transform myself repeatedly and given me permission and belief in myself to go after my dreams. Yes, this “driver” part of my personality has pushed me to get where I am, and I am grateful.
But, there is a time when pushing forward is not the way forward. This is a much more challenging time for me. Did you know that the word "quit" originates from the words “quiet,” "to release," or "to be free.”? Those definitions are certainly much more palatable than thinking of quitting as a failure. I suggest quitting the grit is a healthy and necessary part of the creation cycle. It’s a pause, a breath, a reset, a time to restore. This does not equal giving up.
In our hustle culture, the pause is not revered. Yet, there is a time when we must be willing to sit in the discomfort and uncertainty of the pause. Some things can’t be forced. Sometimes, we must be willing to wait, and I hate waiting. I think most people do. We like to delude ourselves into thinking that if we only produce enough and busy ourselves enough, we can “make” certain things happen as if we are in total control of our lives.
What would happen if we released perceived control and just allowed ourselves to rest in what has already been done? What if we trust in the process? What if we believe that when the time is right, the fruits of our labor will be reaped? I’m in one of those times right now. I’ve done a lot of work and laid foundations. What if I released my grit (or grip!) and allowed things to unfold and trust in the process?
So, how do you know whether it is time to Push or Pause? Ask yourself these questions:
Have I already done all I can do with the energy and resources I have in this situation?
Do I feel like I am trying to force something?
Do I feel trusting and deserving of what I want?
Am I open to allowing it to come to me in its own time?
The answers to these questions should help you know whether you have more to do or deserve a much-needed break.
Remember, both are necessary for us to have balance and sometimes, when we are pushing in one area of life, allowing or pausing in another area of life is the answer. It’s important to be able to discern, and to discern, you must be willing to create the space for the pause, even if it is a moment in time to be self-reflective in a counseling session, in meditation, a walk in nature, a good conversation with a friend, or time with your journal.
Everyone needs time to let go of the hustle and self-reflect. Give yourself this gift! The insights you might receive could be a game-changer!