How a Shift in Mindset Helped Me Learn to Ski!
When I was 13, I went on a ski trip with a friend and her family. Skiing is very much an activity associated with privilege. I remember I didn’t even have waterproof gloves or snow pants to wear and had to borrow some from my friend. My waterproof gloves as a child were a pair of cloth mittens with plastic bread bags over them. Does anyone else have this experience? Lol! My mom was very resourceful. She had to be, but perhaps that is a story for another blog:)
That first experience with skiing was far from ideal. I didn't take a lesson; there was a rope that pulled you up the bunny hill instead of the much easier magic carpet rides that are available today. I remember the mortifying experience of falling over the rope and getting my hair caught in it. It was a scary moment of complete loss of control mixed with a healthy dose of public humiliation. I kept trying to ski that day, only to fall time after time. It was frustrating, especially for someone athletic and naturally good at most things. Skiing was the first time I had encountered a physical activity I felt I could not do. I left that day feeling defeated, believing I couldn't ski, and never tried again.
Fast forward many years to meeting my husband, Michael. Michael is an avid expert skier, the kind of guy who thrives and feels alive navigating double black diamond runs. He grew up skiing with his family and dreamed of having a family that skis together—bad news for me. My love for him got me out there on skis, doing it the right way this time with lessons. There I was again, in my late 30s, on skis for the first time since childhood. I was still pretty terrible. Each time we skied, which was about once a year, I never felt like I got my ski legs and would experience a lot of falls, including attempting to get off the ski lifts, which is super embarrassing. The ski lift has to be stopped while you try to get up, a skill that has to be learned and is not pretty. All the while, people are waiting for you to get up and out of the way. It’s a pretty vulnerable experience when I think about it!
After all this epic failure, something shifted. In my late 40s, I suddenly began to feel comfortable and safe on skis, which was a choice I made. I knew that my belief that I could not ski prevented me from skiing. So, I changed. I shifted my mental framework from believing I couldn’t do it to believing I could. That mental shift was the difference. I progressed off the bunny hills to the green slopes, and at the age of 49, I went down my first blue run for intermediate skiers. It was scary but thrilling and fulfilling. I did it!
This winter, we decided to go on our first family ski trip to the Sierra Nevada mountains with our 9-year-old son. I reaped the rewards of all the hard work I put in. I was confident and comfortable on the trip and could enjoy the magnificent views available by skiing in the mountains. My son passed my skill level on the 3rd day, but that is okay with me. I’m sure he will be skiing the expert runs with my husband before we know it. As for me, I will stick with the beginner green slopes. I will bask in the joy and satisfaction of doing something at age 50 that I did not think I could ever do and had given up on.
Is there something you wanted to do but felt like you couldn’t? Do you have anything that has been a failure in the past that you could turn into a success? Do you have a mindset that needs to shift around believing in yourself and what you are capable of? No matter our age, we can change, grow, and try new things. Positive psychology and studies around happiness show that the more novelty we can bring into our lives, the happier we are. So, I plan to keep doing things that have been scary to me and challenge myself to continue to grow and do things beyond my comfort zone. Perhaps scuba diving is my next thing. What is yours?
I encourage you to find something new in this new year—something you perhaps think is beyond you. Let go of your self-limiting beliefs. Believe you can do it. Believe me, if I can learn to ski, anything is possible:)